Latest Update

I’ve spent the last 3 days fighting a cold, something I can scant afford with cancer dominating the arena, so the hospice has delivered an oxygen device, guaranteed my comfort until I depart this planet along with some serious medication commitments.

Dying appears to be more complicated than movies and TV suggest, however, Elaine has much of this in hand and although I’m not pleased at my passing I am physically comfortable to say the least.

Meanwhile I lie here in bed with this vexing question of “Am I being objective or what?” Personally, I don’t think that objectivity is even remotely possible given the current circumstances, so let’s not look for any. This blog will just be a day by day brain dump that hopefully conveys this abstract end-of-life process I am going through.

For those wishing to visit, just email me at the following address after removing all the underscores “_” from the address:

k_backmann@sbc_global.net

I will provide relevant info about time and place.

Prognosis

Neither my pet bear (Dr. Kilbear) nor its symbolic companion (Jesus Gently Nailed to the Cross) reliquary beat the evil “C” word into submission so I will state the following bluntly:

1) It appears that I have moved a notch in the ratings to terminal
2) Prognosis is a couple of months or weeks
3) No, this is not a practical joke

Given all of the adverse reactions I’ve had to treatment, it might just be what’s necessary and I appear to be okay with the prognosis.

As for all of my friends, I can’t thank you enough and I want you to know that I welcome visitors in the upcoming months. If you contact me here or on FB I will send you an email with phone and address information and we can schedule a visit.

To the best of my knowledge Elaine and I will not be pursuing any additional treatments, not out of despair but from the perspective of quality of life, and the only two chemo options have a 15% success rate but would not buy any real time that I could guarantee quality life standards. Besides, the list of possible side effects is long enough to warrant passing up these desperate options.

I hope I get to see some of you in the weeks remaining. You have all been amazing over the last 29.9 years and I’m certain your best work lies ahead.

Love from Kevin and Elaine