The Hardest Revelations Are Those Most Evident

As someone who is more naturally inclined to be dismissive of those on the periphery of my life while loving, caring and considerate to those that I care and are not on the fringe I have been able to take my low energy interludes and ponder this odd dilemma.
My generation, during the tumultuous 60’s demanded love, peace and understanding. Created entire careers writing songs around the same themes, Miles Davis and B. B. King played the Fillmore (both east and west) to sold‑out crowds, Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger, Joan Baez participated in freedom marches and protestations. I, for one, fervently believed that love, peace, justice and above all, equality was due all, not just to the privileged few, and if remember correctly so did my peers at the time. Besides, did not our constitution state these inalienable rights were guaranteed by birth and by birth alone? Not race, class, skin color, no, we are all born with these inalienable rights.
But I failed to realize something, and I speak for myself here, I failed to realize that one does not just hold a beloved opinion, chant at or argue with those that hold different ones and head home, smoke a joint and have a beer and expect the universe to modify itself correctly because I have what I consider high ideals.
Now let’s fast forward a bit, 30 years or so and see how this sits with me today.
I still hold these lofty ideals about peace and equality for all, which is good a thing to have, what I no longer believe is that my job has been complete having made it to and holding these lofty positions all these years. I should now be content awaiting a younger generation to shape up and get this show on road.
I suppose that my ego would have loved some sort of grand gesture in the spotlight of the multitudes awaiting me to lead them into some brave new world. Well, that’s never happened, and does not appear to on the imminent horizon. I’m going to have try and practice these lofty principles in a daily, silent way.
What the cancer has brought to the forefront for me is that these lofty principles can only be imparted by me in my personal life. With those I love, don’t love; wish would go away and never come back, people of differing colors, beliefs and opinions. In other words, I must do this in my daily life, quietly and consistently, and to do so without any fanfare whatsoever, solely out of service and love and not out of some higher calling sense of duty.
I can assure you my friends that really don’t know how one does that; I can only say that I am willing to do my best.
Once, 25 years ago I once heard Joseph Campbell say “Follow your bliss.” I took this to mean that one finds an object of some type, lover, career, a higher calling of some sort and pursues it with passion and fury. Well, here today, with a cancer diagnosis looming largely on my horizon, I can honestly say that I finally know what he meant. You follow your bliss by embracing the life that you have been given, not the one you want or think you should be allowed to pursue. No, my bliss is already present and all I have to do is embrace it and live one day or one moment at a time, striving to make my contributions to this blissful life constructive and beneficial to all I come in contact with.
I am walking towards the unknown future knowing that all is well and that the creative spark of life surrounds me as long as I’m will to look for it. It is present in my beloved family and friends, I’ve experienced with the excellent medical staff I get to engage with daily and from total strangers who know nothing of my but a diagnosis and cared to give a hug.
Later, into the future…